Ireland Women’s Team Teach New Generation Lesson In Sporting Heartbreak


THE IRISH women’s football team have been praised for helping a whole new generation of people partake in the time-honoured Irish tradition that is sporting heartbreak.

Fresh from a historic first ever World Cup point secured in a 0-0 draw against Nigeria but still exiting from the tournament, children around the country will have felt the slow rushing pain that comes with a nation of 5 million people competing in an international tournament.

“Sonia in Sydney narrowly missing out on gold, the rugby heads shitting the bed in France in 2011, every Irish supporter gets their moment of agonising pain and it’s a great legacy for this team to be able gift that to young people,” confirmed Irish sports expert Sean Peile.

“Streaks of tears down tricolour face paint, it’s the Irish way and so is celebrating a point like a win. It just wouldn’t feel right if they went on and won the whole thing,” added Peile, who pointed out the team were spoiling fans with on-field disagreement and uncertainty around the manager Vera Pauw’s future.

It can not be underestimated the indelible mark this tournament will have made on those experiencing such a thing for the first time.

“They’re heroes and have so much to be proud of, I’ve two kids too young to remember Euro 2012 so while not on the same scale as that crime against football, at least they have a taste of what being Irish is all about,” said one parent, beaming with pride.

Another Irish tradition will see the team receive a hero’s welcome in a homecoming parade on Thursday, allowing the nation to engage in a further tradition; never turning down the opportunity for a piss up.