Pilot’s Fuel Gauge Always In The Red

“I DON’T like to fill it up as it will be less likely to blow up into a fireball if we crash land,” pilot Captain Darren Cody explains his logic for always keeping his fuel gauge in the red, “you’ve also got to take the weight factor into account; the more fuel you’ve in the tank, the more it needs to keep flying so keeping it down just enough so it doesn’t waste is key to my strategy”.

Cody is a budget airline’s dream, saving the multi-billion-euro air bus company he works for a fortune every year by keeping fuel costs down to a minimum.

“I’ve ran out a few times, but that fault was down to the air traffic controllers at the time who didn’t do their jobs right and made me circle the runway because they didn’t scheduled the flights properly,” the 56-year-old went on, “when that happens you’ve just got to glide in and hope for the best”.

The pilot admitted to sometimes turning off the engines altogether and coasting along to save fuel and on one occasion had to flip the passenger plane upside down mid-flight so the gravity would force whatever fuel was left in the lines down into the engines.

“Once the passengers and flight crew are strapped in its handy enough,” he reasoned, “of course there’s always one eejit who leaves a bag on his seat and gets lamped, but it’s the small price to pay for not dying and more importantly saving the airline a few thousand quid every journey”.

With fuel prices skyrocketing over the past two years, Cody has been headhunted by dozens of rival airlines but insisted he’s staying put.

“I just love what I do working for the same salary that a McDonalds manager receives on a monthly basis – sometimes less,” he said, “that and getting a kick out of seeing people’s terrified faces when they exit the plane keeps me grounded”.