Cork Lad Disappointed Aperol Spritz Isn’t Vodka & Tanora

YET another Irish person on holiday has fallen into the trap of thinking Aperol Spritz is a refreshing, tasty drink – this time Cork man Danny Whelan, currently choking down the beverage outside a tapas bar in Spain.

“I paid 18 euro for the fucking thing, so I’m drinking it,” grimaced Whelan, sipping away at the bitter foul-tasting orange liquid.

“You’re walking around in this heat, and you see people drinking these things, and they really look like they’re going to hit the spot and look like they’re going to taste like Lucozade or gin & red lemonade or even Cork’s own beloved Tanora, but it’s pure and utter piss”.

Shaken by his experience with trying something new while in another country, Whelan has vowed to only do things he knows he is comfortable with for the rest of the trip.

“I’m going to find an Irish bar that sells Guinness and stew, and that’s that,” he fumed, “that’s all I want from my holidays from now on; comfort and familiarity and absolutely no risk of doing something I haven’t been doing since I was born. I want Cork, only a bit warmer – that’s a holiday”.

Whelan’s wife Annie, who actually quite likes an Aperol Spritz, was not asked for her opinion on the matter.