ITV Producers Spent Days Reassembling Flat-Pack Craig Doyle From Storage, Sources Reveal


AFTER spending 12 hours searching the ITV stores for the correct boxes, it is understood it took producers another three days to reassemble Craig Doyle, sources have revealed.

“They usually whip Craig out when the main presenters are on holidays, so the instructions have faded over the years and he’s missing a few parts,” a source at ITV explained.

The substitute presenter joined Holly Willoughby on the This Morning sofa this week following Phillip Schofield’s dramatic exit after revealing he was still gay, but this time he also engaged in gay sex.

“The good thing about Craig is when you’re done with him you can just take him apart and put him back in storage and he won’t get in any trouble,” another source stated, “he’ll still look as fresh as he did the last time he aired, and I suppose that’s a great trait for a TV presenter”.

Despite viewers not noticing that Craig is currently missing a right foot and left ear, he is expected to host the show for the next two days, but it’s still unclear who will get the permanent role as Britain’s next squeaky-clean TV presenter whose sexual orientation doesn’t make them uncomfortable.