Your Divorced Friend’s Second Wedding: A Guide


AT some stage, all of us ‘age out’ of going to weddings as our friends and relatives of traditional marrying age either tie the knot or decide it’s not for them, leaving only a few weddings invites here and there from late-blooming cousins and co-workers that just need to make up the numbers.

Until the divorces happen that is, and you find yourself facing a wave of invitations to second weddings. Here’s a few pointers on how to approach this:

1) No gift

Sorry to whoever the new spouse is, but it’s one wedding gift per customer. If we already gave our friend 200 quid in an envelope, then that was for life. Call their divorced ex and ask for your share of it, because we don’t want to set a precedent here. What if you guys get divorced, are we just going to keep paying out in cash and Waterford crystal every couple of years for life? Nope.

2) We’re bringing the kids

The first wedding was years ago, when everyone was younger and had less commitments. You could stay out all night and drink the resident’s bar dry. But times have changed, ten years has passed, we’ve all got mortgages and kids and jobs and whatnot. So although your invite stresses ‘leave the kids at home and enjoy yourself LOL’, we’ll be bringing them so tell the restaurant to stick on sausage and chips along with whatever else you’re having.

3) We’re not going to the ceremony

In fact, we’re not going to the meal. We appreciate your marriage didn’t work out and we’re very sorry about that, but weddings are a scourge at the best of times let alone when you’re on round two. We might show up to the afters to hear what jokes the best man said and watch somebody’s mother silently weep, but that’s it. A few pints and a ‘best of luck, again haha’ and that’s us out.