Mayo Win Not The All-Ireland


MAYO ARE still celebrating after their senior men’s football team won a competition which they stress involves ‘ALL of IRELAND’, WWN Sports can reveal.

“I can’t quite believe it, I’ve tears in my eyes. Honestly, I can’t believe this is the 13th time our county has won this final, which I feel I must point out is part of competition covering the entire island of Ireland, it’s an All-Ireland competition, you can’t dispute that. It’s a fact,” shared one delirious fan, tearing around Castlebar honking his car horn for the 12th consecutive hour.

“They’re won’t be a Croagh Patrick’d tonight, we fecking did it!” said another elated fan, one of thousands lining the streets for this historic occasion of Mayo winning out in a final which involved the top two teams in the top division of the national league, covering all of Ireland.

Despite this being the 13th time their county has achieved such a victory, Mayo natives have confirmed it has resulted in the sort of mass outbreak of unadulterated joy which will result in a baby boom 9 months from now.

“It can’t all be about ourselves, we must acknowledge those less fortunate like Dublin who are enduring some weird curse which means they haven’t won this title since 2021, could you imagine the pain and hurt? The desperation? No I’m genuinely asking, can you? I can’t I’m from Mayo, the capital of 32-county contested tournament victories,” confirmed one Ballina resident who has consumed so much drink he can’t remember who he works for, only that he called in sick so he could enjoy the moment.