Remote Working: Don’t Fuck This Up On Us, Kevin

OFFICES around the country will continue to permit a degree of remote working as long as lazy bastards like Waterford’s own Kevin Mullen doesn’t rip the absolute piss out of it, WWN can report.

Mullen’s place of work has offered a lot of flexibility to employees in the post-pandemic workscape, asking only that everyone participates in all Zoom calls and is available for contact during working hours, as well as attending in-person meetings in the office when required, all of which are things that the 37-year-old hasn’t done once since lockdown ended.

Frequently attending Zoom calls with his camera off and the sounds of a golf course or pub in the background, Mullen is currently putting everyone in the office in jeopardy of losing all of their hybrid working benefits if he continues to be a silly bollocks about the whole thing.

“It’s only a matter of time before someone in HR realises that there are piss-takers like Kevin on the team and implements a full back-to-office rule for everyone to stamp out that kind of thing,” moaned one of Mullen’s co-workers, who can’t be certain that the man isn’t actually dead at this stage.

“We’ve all said it to him ‘Kevin, just come in once a week’, ‘Kevin, maybe reply to your mails once in a while’, ‘Kevin, quit posting on social media that you’re on a four day bender in Cork’… we all use ‘working from home’ as an excuse at times, but for like dentist appointments and taking the kids to the doctor. Work with us a bit, buddy”.

Meanwhile, a new law passed this week will allow Mullen to legally request the right to work from home, but also allow his employer to legally request he get his lazy hole into the office immediately.