Fears WWE Could Turn Into Staged Pantomime If Merged With UFC
LIFELONG wrestling fans are in mourning today at the prospect of their beloved art form descending into an unrewarding and scripted form of low rent entertainment that insults viewrs’ intelligence ahead of its purchase by UFC parent company Endeavor.
“If I wanted to watch a bunch of handpicked muscle bound athletes participate in a rigged charade that is the very antithesis of a meritocracy I would pay for a UFC pay per view,” raged one die hard WWE fan, sad to see one of his most cherished forms of entertainment sell itself out.
“Give me a man who is honest about his con over the man who tries to conceal it,” said another wrestling aficionado, vexed by the idea that Dana White technically works for the same company that will soon own WWE as part of $21bn merger.
Wrestling fans are rightly wondering if the WWE’s reputation can survive its newly found association with a wrecking crew of wife beaters, fight riggers, drug cheats and petty criminals.
“Contrived alpha male displays of bravado, men squaring up to each other and uttering dialogue written by six year olds is my least favourite part of the UFC so I’d hate to see that bleed over to wrestling,” conceded one fan.
UPDATE: as part of the merger Vince McMahon has been required to assume his creepiest form yet by dying his hair jet black and sporting a pencil thin moustache making him resemble a roided up, extra-handsy Gomez Addams.