YEARS of campaigning by the Siobhán and Séamus Community has finally paid off, after coffee shop moguls Starbucks agreed to implement special training worldwide that would ensure their staff no longer insult Irish customers, WWN can report.
“It was a long hard road, but we stuck with it for every Padraig that ordered a latte in London and had ‘pot rick’ written on the side of it,” said a spokesperson for the SAS, who monitor the correct pronunciations of Irish names by non-local corporations.
“Caoimhe, you can order your coffee. Donnacha, you can get a donut. Everyone with an Irish name will receive their order without a butchered attempt at pronunciation written on the cup. Our long national nightmare is over”.
The situation had gotten so bad for many that they had resorted to giving a false name to their barista, one which was easy to hear in a busy, noisy workplace, and impossible to spell wrong.
“I went by ‘Ben’ for years, just to avoid being asked nine times how to spell Oisín,” sobbed one Waterford coffee lover we spoke to, weeping tears into his mocha.
Content that Starbucks now have a handle on dealing with Irish names, the nation will now attempt to get them to perhaps pay a bit more tax to the Irish exchequer instead of using grande loopholes to dodge it.