UNVEILING proposed new laws British PM Rishi Sunak has delighted in warning asylum seekers they will receive no protections from being entered into modern slavery by human traffickers operating in the UK, prompting criticism from human rights groups who say the Tory government is waging a campaign of dehumanisation.
“Yeah, I’m glad you picked up on that, me and the guys have been working really hard on this,” confirmed Sunak.
“Like duh, how else are we going to distract the idiot public from the fact ‘Great’ Britain can’t even get tomatoes on the shelves of its supermarkets, stte of the NHS and how towns are never getting that EU funding replaced,” added Sunka, who is outsourcing much of the most vile rhetoric to Hatred Secretary, Cruella Braverman.
“Let’s get the Navy torpedoing small boats and people being flown to Rwanda up on the big screens in pubs so you common folks can roar and cheer while drinking whatever larger beverage it is the unwashed drinks,” offered Braverman, as she outlined plans to blur the line between the minority of people who make false asylum claims with people fleeing war and persecution.
With the Tory government now spewing more bile than the sewage pipes pouring into the waterways of Britain thanks to Tory cuts to regulations, now has never been a better time to be someone who loves to see xenophobic dog-whistling dominate government policy.
“We of course will always process genuine asylum cases with the utmost care,” Braverman incorrectly stated, as the Tories refused to comment on the fact 187 child asylum seekers, who were placed in hotels by the Home Office, have gone missing.
Elsewhere, the Labour Party have broken down into hysterical laughter after one voter wrongly assumed the party possessed a conscience and would fight against the proposed legislation.