“Sorry, This Till Is Card Only” Loser Cash Customer Told

A COMPLETE loser looking to for pay for their goods with grubby old cash has rightly been told to wait in line while customers from the 21st century go ahead of him to use the card only self-service till, WWN has learned.

Standing with his shopping and wallet in hand like an absolute philistine, Cormac Murray watched on at the ease with which card paying customers passed through the system, devoid of any human contact apart from the self-service till supervisor now shouting at the queue.

“Card only… is anyone card only?” the point-of-contact bellowed to a majority card only queue, now looking in disgust at Murray.

“I guess this is exactly how Rosa Parks felt when she was told to sit on the back of the bus,” the 34-year-old son-of-two thought to himself, now resenting his decision to bypass the human operated portion of the supermarket, “how is there only one cash till and why does it also give the option of card when the others are card only? Surely there should be a cash only till too – I feel a little cheated if I’m honest”.

Finally attending the neanderthal till, Murray cursed as his crumpled up twenty-euro note was repeatedly regurgitated back at him by the machine like he tried to poison it, the Waterford man was left impatiently waiting for the supervisor, who was now chatting to a fellow member of staff about last Saturday’s work night out.

“Enjoy it while you can ladies, before you all lose your jobs,” Murray muttered to himself, before reluctantly pulling out his contactless debit card to pay, returning his pathetic cash heap to his wallet.