Martin Vows To Help Tech Companies Pay Any Fines They Receive For Breaking Employment Law

A NUMBER OF high profile multi-national tech companies with job cuts and ignoring employment laws on their minds have received some good news from the Taoiseach Micheál Martin, WWN can reveal.

“I got here as fast as I could,” explained Taoiseach Micheál Martin, now banging on the front door of a tech firm in Dublin after leaving the COP27 summit in Egypt early.

“My department informed me you guys could get fined for breaking employment law? That’s crazy. You are employers, the givers of economic life, well, except when you’re cutting jobs by the boat load but to think we could fine you for ignoring employment law as you kick workers out, that’s unconscionable. Not the firing without notice, the us fining you for it part,” said a breathless Martin to a security guard who was refusing him entry.

Keen to make it clear to multi-nationals that Ireland is still very much a rule-free playground for multi-nationals where they don’t have to enter the 30 day consultation period with employees, Martin pledged to step in and pay the whopping €4,000 fine that would surely cripple the multi-billion profit generating tech entities for the misdemeanour of using Irish employment law as toilet paper.

“So sorry we didn’t overhaul that legislation. Maybe we could do a whip round to help you with the fines,” offered Martin.

“Way ahead of you Micheál,” said Tánaiste Leo Varadkar, emerging from the street corner shaking a bucket full of change, presumably confiscated from nearby homeless people.

Elsewhere, the Dept. of Housing is considering setting up an emergency fund for landlords in the Grand Canal Dock area who will be affected by the shortage of tech workers willing to pay €3,200 rent for a one bed apartment.