New Law No Longer Forces Women Over Certain Age To Get Same Haircut


A DRACONIAN LAW from a bygone era has now been consigned to the dust bin of history and in the process thousands of women around the globe have rejoiced and convened in joyous and ecstatic celebrations.

“I never thought this day would come but I’m free,” explained 59-year-old Margaret Cummings, as she took a ruler to her hair while confessing she was looking forward to have a more relaxed and loose run of hairdresser appointments over the coming years.

Gone is the requirement for women of a certain age to conform to a short crop or face a possible custodial sentence, as the repeal of the peculiar Stringent and Homogeneous Haircut Act 1999 has come into effect.

The extinguished law is already seeing women reaping the benefits.

“I’m no longer mistaken for being a whole variety of different women, I’m getting dreads and no one can stop me,” confirmed 58-year-old Joanne Kilty.

However, it’s not all good news as Ireland’s designated hairdresser to women over a certain age, Josephine Andrews, is set to lose business as a result.

“I just use a template and copy it on every woman. I’ve a magazine cut out of Judi Dench from the 90s and I just use that. I’m ruined now if they’re all growing it out, ruined,” shared a distraught Andrews.