‘Avoid High Energy Bills By Living In Malta For 6 Months Every Year’ – Bill’s Cost Of Living Tips
WITH the cost-of-living on everyone’s mind these days, WWN turns to inhouse property editor and multi-millionaire landlord Bill Badbody for a series of handy tips to survive the ongoing crisis.
Recently I’ve been made aware that you poors are apparently struggling with increasing energy bills and all-round inflation and I have been kindly asked by this publication to give you some advice on the matter while being paid a vast sum of money for the following 350 words.
As a large shareholder is several energy companies I do not want to give out advice which will take away from our vast profits but I will give you some hot tips on getting by – it’s the least I can do after receiving enough dividends this year to buy a sizable yacht.
Okay, so from what I gather, the cost of heating your home is crippling you during the Winter period. I haven’t really noticed this myself but what I will suggest is moving out of Ireland from October to April every year. Personally, I’m a tax resident of Malta which is warm all year round and I cannot recommend this location enough to people. You can pick up a villa cheap here for around €2-3 million euros and working remote now is all the rage which will allow you to avoid all those energy bills back home.
Rent out your Irish residence for an extortionate amount of money while you’re gone. NOTE: insist that your new renter plebs set up their own energy bills for your Irish home so me and my fellow shareholders won’t lose out on revenue. Plus, if you can prove you’re here for more than six months (trust me, with the right paperwork you don’t technically have to be here for that amount of time) you can also avail of lucrative tax incentives- it’s that easy.
I’ve just reached my word quota so join me next week for more cost-of-living tips where I will show you how to offload company profits to off-shore subsidiaries.
This editorial is sponsored by Electric Ireland – “State Run Extortionate Fun”