Some Good Reasons To Burn Down A Playground


A FIRE at a playground in Dublin city centre over the weekend has been described as ‘the epitome of senseless vandalism’ and ‘an unspeakably cruel act of antisocial behaviour’ by people who don’t seem to understand that these scum magnets must go.

Playgrounds are dangerous 

Trampolines were described by the Minister for Health as being ‘inherently dangerous’, and what is a playground if not a collection of trampoline-like structures with way too much bouncing and swinging and sliding and spinning – absolute death traps. Don’t believe us? Then why are insurance policies for playparks so incredibly high? Burn them all to the ground. Once you get rid of the source of these accidents, all our insurance policies fall. A rising tide lifts all boats, or a burning playground lowers all expenses.

Playgrounds are a breeding ground for crime

The playground in Dublin was burned down by people at the playground itself. They probably met there, gathered there every day. It’s entirely likely that they came up with the idea of burning the playground down while at the playground. This is all the proof you need that playgrounds are a meeting spot for the criminals of the future. Removing playgrounds removes the problem at the source.

Extra land for development

You may think that the vandals who destroyed the playground in Dublin did a disservice to their community, but really what they’ve done is provide a vital new area that can be developed into build to rent properties or even a brand-new hotel. Just think of the revenue that could generate for an investor instead wasting it on slides and swings. It’s thinking like that which is going to keep you people in the gutter, you know. Expand your mind, make better use of the space around you and we’ll all be better off.