Rising Energy Bills: Could Rory McIlroy Be The Answer?


IT’S an inescapable fact that energy companies are on an active campaign to separate you from the vast majority of your bank balance. The harsh reality of the coming winter has families already planning for how they can attempt to meet yet another further increase in living costs but has a solution just emerged?

With Rory McIlroy in imperious form and mounting a stunning comeback to secure a record third FedEx Cup win and a whopping €18mn in prize money, could the Irish man be the solution?

“Maths isn’t my strong suit but I’d say asking him to foot the bill for everyone could work,” said one man, who is also in charge of SSE Airtricity’s price increase calculator.

“Yes, I thought air-tricity was when the wind actually carried electricity to your door so maybe I’m not the right judge on how much this is costing families and how to cover the cost, but how much can one electricity be these days? €18mn? Rory can get one for the entire country,” added the man, who again it must be stressed in his charge of price calculation for an energy firm.

Approached for comment on the suggestion, the government has warmly welcomed the possibility of McIlroy using his FedEx Cup money to chip in.

“This definitely has legs, if he chucked everyone a fiver or struggling families begged him through a Go Fund Me for a few bob it’d be the great uplifting PR boost we need. It would at the very least help the public forget we didn’t bother stockpiling gas ahead of winter like every other EU country,” confirmed one government spokesperson.

Elsewhere, in rare good news for the Irish energy sector Eirgrid confirmed the Utilities Commission system isn’t fit for purpose and that Ireland is ‘fucked’.