How Neighbours Fooled The World Into Thinking The People You Live Beside Might Be Sound


AUSTRALIA’S most famous export Neighbours is to end its near-40 year run on our television screens this week, and it’s not nearly soon enough for one protest group who claim the soap opera has done ‘irreparable damage’ to people’s perceptions of what a real neighbour should be.

“For four decades we’ve been fed lies about ‘when good neighbours become good friends’. Well, when does it happen? I’ve been living on the same street here in Waterford for 20 years and the only time I talk to my neighbours is when someone’s bin gets knocked over,” said one aggrieved member of an Anti-Neighbours Facebook group today.

“Your neighbours aren’t nice. There’s not a kindly old Helen Daniels type that you can knock in to and solve your problems with over a cuppa. There’s not a friendly Bouncer dog that everyone loves and there sure as hell isn’t one street that has Margot Robbie, Natalie Imbruglia and Kylie Minogue living on it. I appreciate TV isn’t real life, but there gets to be a point where it’s just blatant false propaganda”.

The group are claiming that among other things, Neighbours has promoted the belief that:

  • Childbirth takes five minutes tops, and literally any neighbour can act as a midwife during it
  • Any neighbour under the age of 25 can have a go at a pop career
  • Should it be necessary, any deceased neighbour can return as a ghost to impart one last piece of advice
  • Dating apps are not necessary as you can easily find a partner for life living within a four-house radius of your home
  • Similarly, any extramarital affairs you may have will take place with people that live a stone’s throw away from you
  • Teenage kids run away from home at an alarming regularity, and are usually back safe and sound by the end of the week
  • It is perfectly acceptable for one of your neighbours to suddenly look and act like a completely different person, and for nobody to reference this whatsoever