You Know You’re On Holiday When…


HOLIDAY tropes such as ‘airport pints’ and ‘sure you couldn’t beat it’ pics by the pool have been given an overhaul to better reflect the state of vacationing in 2022, so please draw from the following list of cliches when travelling this summer.

You know you’re on holiday…

…when the price of renting a car exceeds the price of buying a car

…when a midday cocktail incapacitates you for the night because you forgot you’re not 25 anymore

…when greasy Lays crisps bring you no joy, because you can buy them in any Lidl these days

…when you’re traumatised from spending four hours getting through security

…when a pint of Guinness is half the price it was at home; great value, even if it does taste weird

…when you’re in a capital city and you haven’t been attacked in broad daylight

…when your hotel costs less per night than your rent at home

…when you rent a cycle and declare it the best mode of transport you’ve ever used, perfect for city life, clean, cheap, fast, flawless, but not something you’d ever consider doing at home

…when the McCanns leaving their kids alone for five minutes peace actually starts to seem reasonable

…when an English accent seems even more irritating than usual

…when you have absolutely no idea – for a while, at least – where you’re going to get your coke from

…when you’re not on holiday at all because your flight got cancelled and nobody explained anything to you, just left you and your family standing there in a queue for a holiday that everyone had worked so hard for so long, only to be told ‘whoops sorry that flight isn’t taking place, please have a refund and don’t forget, fly with us again’.