If Everyday Products Were Priced Like Irish Homes

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WHILE MANY people feel the precious and untouchable logic of ‘the market’ is more deranged than Jack Nicholson in The Shining, we’re all thankful that aside from housing Ireland is a cheap and affordable place to live.

But what if that wasn’t the case? WWN put some estate agents to work and had them appraise and price every day items:

Banana in shop – south facing, last unit remaining from original bunch of six. Just a stone’s throw from the front entrance – €5,678.

Public bin – sudden surge in demand for this beautifully appointed structure which boasts canal side views as all other bins in area full up. €14,000 deposit per item of rubbish.

A single grain of rice – enough to feed family of four, great starter meal for those just starting out on the meal ladder – €42,560.

Energy Prices – getting there in fairness.

IKEA coffee table – one of just 100,000 in this line of luxurious bespoke one-off unique object-rester, price too obscene to say out loud €*7*,**0,*5*. Went to market last year priced €9,99.

iPhone 13 – sold out. Available to rent (up 10% from last year) from Apple for rest of your life, though.

Parent’s Funeral – too expensive? Just get a loan from the bank of mum & dad… oh.

Single page of A4 paper – a real blank canvas of a property, low maintenance and open plan – owner will be able to really put their own stamp on it. €1700.

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