AUTUMN is well and truly underway with the biannual changing of the clocks to take place this coming weekend, however, this year will be slightly different to previous years as the clocks go back a record 24 months to the year 2019, WWN can report.
“Due to Daylight Saving Time, we normally put our clocks back 60 minutes on the last Sunday in October, but due to the worldwide Covid pandemic we have decided instead to reclaim the last two years,” explained Director of Clocks Going Back, David O’Clock, “hopefully this will give everyone back the time they’ve lost and there’s absolutely no need to thank us. You’re welcome”.
The move will see October 31st, 2021, become October 31st 2019, sparking mixed emotions from across the world.
“I personally think it’s a great idea,” stated Taoiseach Micheál Martin, who was due to hand over his leadership position to Leo Varadkar in December 2022, “this will be a great way to restart the roaring 20s all over again and give us time to get our party back up the polls”.
“I’d rather we change the trajectory of the earth using rocket boosters, so we crash and burn into the sun than relive another moment of 2020,” voiced one concerned man, “what sick fuck suggested this?”
Despite conflicting feelings over the two-year clock change, the Tokyo Olympics and Euro Football championships could be relaunched again in June, depending on if the clocks don’t go forward again by two years in March.
“Look, we’ll see how this goes for the time being,” David O’Clock added, “if the next year is worse than the previous two then we might just skip forward by three years to 2022 – leave it with me”.
We appreciate all the help we can get, become a WWN Patreon Supporter below and gain access to bonus content.Become a Patron!