Lad In 5 Series Pretending He’s A Drug Dealer Or Something

A LOCAL lad driving around in a ’08 blacked out BMW 5 series thinks he’s some kind of drug dealer, WWN has learned.

The man, in his early to mid 20s, has been seen driving aimlessly around his local town acting suspiciously, despite having no real connections to the underworld drug scene or any real friends at all.

Occasionally revving his 1.6 litre engine, the lad is believed to be harmless enough, but secretly wished he had a bit more of a reputation to go along with the exterior look of the car.

“God love him, he’s probably after taking years to save the few bob to buy the car,” gave one onlooker, “look at him there, all mysterious and hiding his face with his shoulder as he drives past with one hand on the wheel. Bless his little heart”.

Now parking up beside a similar 13-year-old car in a local supermarket car park, the lad continued to stare at passing cars and people like he was up to no good, hoping gardaí would one day search him and give him the kudos he desperately needs.

“Nah, drug dealers don’t drive cars like that anymore; they’re not that dumb,” Sergeant Martin Reynolds explains, “he’d only love it now if we stopped him, so he can tell all his little friends, but we know from the reg that he has all his discs up-to-date, like a good boy,”

“The poor lad’s insurance probably costs more than the car”.