ACKNOWLEDGING the new Code of Practice introduced today by the government regarding employees’ right to switch off from work outside of office hours, local boss Eamon Cannity confirmed to his employees he has the right to disconnect them from their fucking jobs if they even start with that ‘right to disconnect’ bullshit.
“It’s not an accident that this comes into force on the 1st of April guys,” explained Cannity in a video meeting, letting his customer service and sales reps know exactly where he stood on staff answering emails at 11.35pm.
“But yeah whatever, okay, you ‘have’ a ‘right’ to ‘switch off’ and ‘disconnect’,” Cannity added exclusively in air quotes, undermining what was presumably a very sincere embrace of Workplace Relations Commission formulated guidelines.
“And while we’re at it I definitely won’t hold it against anyone who strictly works to our 9 to 5 hours when it comes to future promotions,” Cannity added, now laughing.
“Yeah, and I got my position on merit and not because my dad ran the company,” Cannity added, doubling over with laughter.
Cannity is believed to be just one of many bosses mindful of the need from employees working at home and in office to be allowed enjoy a clear separation and cut off point from work.
“If any of you even think about disconnecting your work emails from your phones, even dream about it by accident, I’ll staple a p45 to your head,” concluded Cannity, a boss perfectly in sync with the burdens felt by the modern worker.
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