NEW Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has ordered the army to source nuclear bombs from somewhere and detonate them in key locations in a last-ditch attempt to wipe out covid-19 for good, WWN has learned.
The new measure comes after three people were found to be infected with the highly contagious UK variant, initially forcing the PM to call a 72-hour lockdown, before then issuing an all-out nuclear strike.
“It’s the only way to beat the virus,” the 40-year-old leader told citizens in an emotional televised address, showing a map where strategically placed nuclear weapons will have to be detonated. “This will be quick and painless for all of us, but more importantly, it will stop covid-19 for good which will be a massive win for us in the long run”.
Ardern’s zero covid strategy gained media attention across the world last year for its hard-line approach in combatting the global pandemic proving highly effective results, however, many have since come forward to criticize this latest measure as a bit over the top.
“It just seems a bit extreme to vaporise everything and everyone on the island over a virus, but look, if it means we don’t have to hear about this bloody thing for as long as we live, then I’m all for it,” gave one New Zealand man we spoke to.
Despite New Zealand being a strong supporter of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty and agreeing to never acquire nuclear weapons, Ardern insisted this was a special circumstance, pointing out it will only be this one time and promised to never do it again.
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