Pornhub Announces They’ll Plant Two More Pornstars For Every One They Cut Down

INTERNET giant Pornhub has announced a raft of new measures to help make the pornography industry into a safer, more sustainable environment, including the deletion of millions of revenge porn videos, tighter moderation on uploads, and a scheme that would see fresh new pornstars replacing outdated ones at a much more economically viable rate.

Pornhub, one of the world’s more popular hubs, had received criticism for allowing their platform to be used by sex traffickers and pornography pirates, apparently not as awesome as they sound, as well as standing back and doing nothing when someone uploaded a video titled ‘Mayo Man Shags Prostitute In Toilets While On Holiday In Magaluf’.

“We’re looking to refresh our image as a more wholesome, family website where there’s something for everyone to enjoy without worrying about silly things like consent or what not” said Eoghan Hub, CEO of the company.

“And of course these days, people are very concerned about sustainability; what happens to these performers after they’ve been used up and are sliding down the rankings. Well, with our new ‘plant two’ program, we promise two fresh young stars will appear on our website for everyone that drops off the charts

“This ensures that nobody feels the need to pad out our content with revenge porn, upskirting shots, secretly filmed footage, or any of the really nasty stuff. You come to us for all your smut needs, and we’re going to ensure that we keep it coming so that you can keep coming”.

Meanwhile, men around the world have reacted to the news with confusion, having never heard of Pornhub, what is that, a website or something?