Hand Railings Already Being Installed Around White House


MAINTENANCE staff at the White House have reportedly started installing metal hand railings around its entrances and steps ahead of the probable arrival of a new US President elect, Joe Biden, WWN can confirm.

“We’re also installing one of those chair lifts and some wheelchair ramps for the future president,” one maintenance worker explained, “we don’t want Joe falling and smashing his ageing hip, so best be safe than sorry”.

With the likelihood of the soon-to-be 78-year-old securing enough votes to become the 46th US President, White House officials defended the cautious safety approach.

“We’re already finding booby traps hidden around the mansion here left either by the outgoing occupant or incoming vice President elect,” said one staff member, pointing out some suspicious activity over the last 24 hours, “things like bulged up carpets, greased stairs, several trip wires attached to grenades; that kinda thing”.

Along with the new safety measures, ‘no running’ signs will also be erected in a bid to stop Mr. Biden spontaneously jogging to and from press briefings.

“Yeah, it’s probably best he stops pretend running as its starting to border more as a fast walk,” added a source, “it’s like that silly run people do when someone holds a door open for them and they feel obliged to make haste, or when a motorist stops and lets you cross the road, only Joe’s is a lot more pathetic than that and not a good look”.