Local Woman Wouldn’t Have Married Husband If She’d Known How Loud He Typed


“I suppose this is what they meant by ‘for better or worse'” sighed Waterford woman Erin Sheerin, trying her best to get a bit of her own work done by blocking out the noise of her husband Dylan hammering at his computer keyboard like it owed him money.

“But I swear, if I’d known that five years after we got married we’d be working from home together and I’d have to listen to him typing for six hours a day, I’d have ran screaming down the aisle, out into the car and away to a new life with someone who can type like a normal person”.

The Sheerin family are just one couple who have had to seek marriage guidance in a Covid-19 world, as work-from-home set-ups expose spouses to personality traits that they had never witnessed before; the most common of which being excessively loud typing.

“It’s like listening to a cow pissing on a wet road” sobbed Mrs. Sheerin, as her husband pounded out another email.

“Listen to me type – see? You can barely hear it. Now listen to his – it sounds like a fucking landslide. Is that what his office was like on a normal day? A hundred people clattering away like that? Or do I just have the one husband who either can’t type quietly or is so much of a prick that he doesn’t care? Either way, this wedding ring never felt heavier”.

Mr. Sheerin was unavailable for comment as he was typing a particularly angry email, raising the decibel level in the house to roadworks levels of noise.