Melania Trump Buried Overnight In Brief Funeral Service

REMOVED from the White House under the cover of night, former US first lady Melania Trump was buried in what close sources called a brief but intimate ceremony after allegedly succumbing to the Coronavirus, WWN has learned.

Largely forgotten by the national and world media after testing positive for Covid-19 late last week alongside her husband and US president Donald Trump, the 50-year-old’s remains were slowly lowered into her grave.

“I’m not dead,” a loud noise was heard shrieking from inside the casket, suspiciously sounding like the recently deceased.

“Yes she is,” countered White House aides adding shovel loads of topsoil onto the grave during the solemn ceremony, before rushing through a prayer, “she’s dead and we’re all really sad. Amen”.

Overshadowed by her husband’s miraculous recovery this week from the virus, Mrs Trump’s coffin rapidly knocked in sympathy, almost screaming in loss.

“Help me you goons, where’s Donald? Get my husband,” a slowly muffling voice sounded, presumably a recording in a bid to lighten the mood.

“She always loved a good prank, our Mel” a now frantic aide insisted, now patting down the freshly laid mound, before making a call. “Sir? Yes, it’s done. Will I send out a press release?… No!? Ah, okay, Mr President. We’ll wait until someone notices. Yes, great idea, sir. Enjoy the golf today. You’re welcome”.

Details of the reality show which will see Trump choose his next wife are rumoured to follow in the coming weeks, with contestants to be sourced from Jeffrey Epstein’s phone book.