BREAKING: Old Man Staring At Motorbike Outside Tescos


DESPITE zero knowledge of its inner workings nor having never experienced what it’s like to drive a two-wheeled machine, a pensioner has reportedly been spotted staring at a motorbike parked up outside Tescos for over two minutes now, WWN has learned.

Shuffling to various vantage points around the bike, the elderly man continued to pretend to know what he was looking at in an almost false appreciation for the mechanically propelled motorbike as eyewitnesses speculated as to what on earth he was actually doing there.

“It’s like he’s reminiscing about a wasted youth,” gave one observer of the staring man, speculating further into the psyche behind someone randomly staring at a vehicle he has no real business staring at. “There’s a deep rooted sadness in his eyes – a longing for youth, if you will – with a hint of approaching death looming over his shoulders as his mind imagines what it must be like to drive a bike like that on the open road”.

Now putting his hands on his hips in a gesture of further intrigue, the man appeared even more perplexed as he squinted and leaned in more at the bike.

“Maybe he’s a retired Garda or something and he’s trying to see if the tax disc is out of date,” shared another bystander, “or maybe he’s lost and doesn’t know what’s going on, God love him. Whatever it is he’s really interested in that bike”.

Startled by the sudden appearance of the motorcyclist owner, the man hobbled away, glancing back at the bike in one last stare, before shouting out “Suzukis are a ball of dirt”, and calmly walking off.