Local Pub Open To Holding Large Protests If Anyone’s Interested

NOT one to pass off an opportunity when he sees it, local publican Danny Farrell has offered up his premises to any large protest group, pointing out the seemingly obvious clause in the current lockdown rules.

“Yeah, yeah, black lives matter, lockdown protests, fucking 5G protests if it floats yer boat; I’m open to any protests as it seems to be the only way to get away with thousands of people packed together in the one place,” Farrell put, dusting down his cobwebbed ridden bar that has been laying idol for the past two months before binning all his bills.

Mr. Farrell’s proposal comes after a large protest took place in Dublin city centre yesterday protesting the death of George Floyd in the United States which apparently flaunted all coronavirus social distancing laws.

“It seems gardaí can’t do much when people hold protests here in Ireland, so I figured to just hold one in my pub and offer up take away pints to make sure everyone keeps hydrated in this awful sunny weather,” he added, “I’m sure everything will be fine and people will understand that it’s just a protest. Besides, everyone knows covid-19 doesn’t work on angry people in large groups”.

Meanwhile, family members of vulnerable people susceptible to the symptoms of covid-19 have welcomed the apparent news that large groups of people seem to be impervious to the pandemic, and have called on them to hold their protests around hospitals and care homes to ward off the virus.