Leprechauns Formally Recognised As An Ethnic Minority


WITH Saint Patrick’s Day just around the corner, the Leprechaun community celebrated at Dublin Castle this afternoon after caretaker Taoiseach Leo Varadkar announced formal recognition for ‘the little people’ as a distinct ethnic group within the state.

“For centuries Leprechauns have been hunted for their gold and forced to grant wishes to anyone who caught them alive,” Mr. Varadkar opened up his speech, “now Leprechauns can walk around freely and be treated with the same respect as anyone else living on the island of Ireland”.

Met with a standing ovation from hundreds of Leprechauns, hundreds of gold coins were thrown into the air in celebration as people in attendance scrambled to the floor in a bid to reap the lucky coins.

The recognition will bring a string of new benefits for the vertically challenged race, including access to banking facilities across the country.

“Stashing gold at the end of rainbows was always risky for us, but now we can avail of the same financial institutions and laws everyone else has in Ireland,” spokes-leprechaun Larry Leprechaun told WWN, who works full time as a cobbler mending shoes.

However, celebrations were short lived after VAT was explained to the new ethnic minority, who seemed confused at why they had to fork out almost 40% of their wealth to the state.

“If we had to have known we would have to give away nearly half our gold we would have probably opted out of this ceremony today, but at least we’re classed as Irish citizens now and that’s all that matters,” Larry Leprechaun added, before quickly disappearing in a puff of smoke.