St. Patrick’s Day Parade To Go Ahead, Minus Wuhan Gaels Pipe Band


ORGANISERS of this year’s St. Patrick’s Day festivities in Waterford have stated that the annual parade will go ahead as planned despite fears surrounding an outbreak of Covid-19, although they will be implementing a ban on visiting acts from stricken regions; meaning there will be no appearance from the Hubei province’s number 1 Irish marching band, the Wuhan Gaels.

A spokesperson for the Wuhan Gaels stated that his team completely understand the reasoning behind Waterford’s decision to exclude them from the parade, but are ‘devastated’ at missing the festival after working so hard to win their place at this year’s All-China Fleadh Finals in Beijing.

“I’m fuckin’ ripping about it” said Uilleann Pipe maestro Guoliang Chen, smoking a Major to calm himself down.

“I was really looking forward to a blaa and a few scoops” sighed Liu Song, sadly packing away his bodhrán.

“Listen, if I hear they’ve blocked us from coming but have given the ‘okay’ to the Veneto Celts from Northern Italy, I’ll be calling racism straight away,” fumed Chen Bai, Wuhan’s meanest fiddler.

Meanwhile organisers in Waterford have assured the city that the event will pass off without any fear of the dreaded flu-like virus, by invoking the time-tested assurance that ‘it’ll be grand’.