Bar Has Just 58 Christmas Themed Gin Cocktails

ONE DUBLIN bar is facing sanctions and possible closure as it stood accused of not fully embracing the Christmas spirit after its specialised festive cocktail menu only included 58 Christmas themed gin cocktails.

The creation of 58 dash-of-gin-plus-a-Schweppes-tonic based cocktails was a huge undertaking for staff and involved hiring the only crack team of pun experts up to the task of naming so many festive drink; Irish dads.

With unparalleled knowledge of groan-inducing wordplay and punnage, the team of Irish dads (a few Seans, a couple of Johns and one Tom and Martin) worked around the clock to come up with the 58 names, drawing on their years of laughing hysterically at Christmas Cracker jokes and Minion Memes on Facebook.

“If one of the names for the cocktails didn’t force one of our kids to roll their eyes and give out about how bad the name was we knew it wasn’t a bad enough pun or joke and we went back to the drawing board,” said one of the cocktail namers Sean.

The drinks board above the bar, which has been turned into sleigh and decorated with enough Christmas lights to power Lapland all year round, now displays ‘Ginseltown, Berry Ginmas, Schweppe The Halls, The Ghosts Of Ginmas Past, Fairytale Of New Port, Gince Pie & Tonic, Mulled Gin, Gingle Bell On The Rocks, Snow White Russian, MojiHoHoHo, Hojito, All I Want For Christmas is Juniper, Quinine Lords A’Leaping, Turkey Flavoured Gin & Tonic, Gin-Gle All The Way, Gin & Misteltonic’ among other offerings.

“I’m exhausted,” shared another pun-creating Irish dad, marveling at his work, “think I need to sit down and have a Bloody Jesus, Mary and Joseph”.