Clocks To Go Sideways This Weekend In Unprecedented Move

TWICE EVERY year, millions of people get caught out when the clocks change for daylight savings time, but scientists are now warning that this year could be the most confusing to date, as for the first time in recent history, the clocks are to go sideways this Saturday night.

“We have no idea how this is going to play out,” warned James Mathews, who works on keeping the International Atomic Time (TAI) at the U.S. Naval Observatory in Washington, D.C, “if the time is to go sideways, we could see a parallel dimension shift that could take the planet into an unknown realm and potentially spell disaster for humanity as we know it”.

Normally at this time of year the clocks are due to go back by 60 minutes at 2am on Sunday morning, however, the time is now expected to go sideways and is expected to be totally incomprehensible to the human mind.

“We’re looking to use 12 letters instead of numbers to tell the time in this new, unknown parallel,” Mathews added, “so we’d start the time at midnight, which will now be known as A o’clock, half A is 30 minutes past midnight, and so on”.

The unprecedented shift is expected to send electronic devices into a global meltdown and cost billions of euros to the time industry.

“I basically have to dump all these watches now,” explained one local jewelers, “hopefully time won’t make anymore unpredictable moves, like going up or down next year”.

The time is due to go sideways at C o’clock on Sunday morning.