Fears Beef Shortage Leaving Vegans With Less Things To Bitch About


FEARS are growing among the vegan community that the current beef crisis may leave them with a lack of opportunities to feel morally superior to everyone else, WWN reports.

With blockades at meat processing plants across the country showing no signs of abating, retailers and restaurateurs have warned of widespread beef shortages until the crisis is resolved – something that has the Vegan Association Of Ireland quaking in their synthetic leather boots.

”One of the main things about Veganism is the smugness we exude when talking down to meat eaters,” said Doireach MoicDoinailshiun, a vegan, “now we’re just like one of them: steakless and miserable”.

Vegans are now urging farmers to stop protesting and get back to fixing the beef supply so that they too can start back at their own beef protests, but have since been informed that there’s still a lot of pork and chicken on the market to be pissed off about. However, vegans retorted saying that beef is the ‘gold standard’ of vegan protests, adding that ‘nobody really gives a shit about chicken’