Dundalk Woman Thought She Was Joining ASOS


AS the country struggles to process what could have been going on in the mind of captured ISIS bride Lisa Smith, some commentators have surmised that the Dundalk woman must have mistakenly joined the hated terror group ISIS while under the impression that she was joining the popular online fashion retailer ASOS.

Former Air Corp member Smith is currently being detained in Syria by US Troops following a number of years with Islamic State, prompting baffled Irish people to assume that she must have sneezed while filling out a job application online, before entering into a world of beheadings and war instead of a world of frocks and nice tops.

Should the assumption that Smith meant to join ASOS prove to be incorrect, then she will become the first Irish person to have been radicalised by a terrorist organisation, giving up a chance at a normal life and finding themselves embroiled in a war against oppression.

“Lisa is from Dundalk, very close to the border with Northern Ireland; there’s no way she’s ever seen pro-paramilitary propaganda in her life” stated one government expert, scratching their head.

“It’s absurd to think that a young, strong-willed person like Lisa could be convinced that there was a cause worth giving up her life for, prompting her to engage in a campaign of violence both at home and overseas. It’s unheard of in the history of Ireland. No, it’s impossible. Surely she thought she was getting an admin job for a website. There’s no other explanation”.

Meanwhile, debate rages around whether or not Smith should be allowed back into the country, as living near someone who used to be in a terrorist organisation is something Irish people are 100% dead against.