Hozier To Enjoy Brief Window Of Time Before Ireland Turns On Him


CELEBRATING a historic achievement for an Irish recording artist, Hozier, who topped the US charts this weekend with his second album ‘Wasteland Baby’, is to eek out every last drop of enjoyment from the remaining time he has left as someone almost universally adored by the normally begrudging Irish public.

“The album is full of absolute belters, haven’t stopped listening to it since it came out, but, yeah he should really just enjoy it while it lasts,” confirmed Hozier superfan Derek Lyons, who couldn’t rule out spray painting ‘Hozier is a pox’ on a wall sometime in the near future.

The extraordinary success of the Wicklow music sensation has put him dangerously close to falling into the ‘ah fucking hate that sap’ category so beloved by the Irish public, once someone has been deemed to have gotten too big for their boots.

“He seems humble, genuinely appreciative of all the support from fans, outspoken on social issues and all round good egg and frankly, I’m fucking sick of him and his shite music,” confirmed Irish woman Clare Henley, who has made the switch from being a massive Hozier fan to outright despising him for no good reason much earlier than expected.

Experts in Irish begrudgery explained the phenomenon to WWN.

“Right now people are basking warmly in the news that an Irish person is universally lauded, respected and loved, but once the adrenaline from that wears off and they realise it is the celebrated Irish person that will enjoy all the financial rewards from this and not the average Irish person, well, that’s when they really turn on them. I give it til the end of the week before the turning begins,” confirmed Dr. Cybil Searson.

Once Hozier officially enjoys the resentment of the vast majority of Irish people he will be moved by authorities to a residence in Killiney next to Bono’s house for his own safety.