Trump Imposes Sanctions On Vuvuzelas


SHOUTING down a number of his most experienced White House aides and advisers, US president Donald Trump has reaffirmed his intention to impose sanctions on vuvuzelas.

Decisive action by the president will see the nuisance drone-like noise-making plastic horns face a number of onerous sanctions which would cripple its economy were it not just a horn used during soccer matches by annoying fans.

“The people of Vuvuzela will thank me later,” confirmed Trump before ordering his staff to get out of the Oval Office and quit trying to get him to change his mind.

“Damn it, can’t you just do what I say for once and stop trying to talk me out of something. I’m the president for Christ sakes,” Trump barked before slamming the door shut and racing back to his desk to put his signature to an executive order which would finally show once and for all that he is to be taken seriously as a politician on the international stage.

If vuvuzelas were a country and not a plastic horn, the sanctions ordered by Trump could help foment further opposition to President Nicolás Maduro and create conditions for seamless regime change that will not result in any violence or further hardship for vuvuzelans, if such a people actually existed.

While some people have buried their heads in disgust and disbelief, many soccer fans have welcomed the sanctions against the infernal audio terrorism.