Pope Francis Lands In U.A.E To Discuss Women’s Wrongs


IN A GROUNDBREAKING visit to the Middle Eastern peninsula of the United Arab Emirates for some photos and good PR, Pope Francis is expected to discuss, at length, various women’s wrongs with Abu Dhabi Crown Prince Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed al-Nahyan.

The U.A.E recently made headlines when its ruler Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum handed out Gender Balance awards to a number of men, while simultaneously playing off the house arrest of his own daughter after she attempted to leave the country as a harmless family disagreement.

It is believed Francis will meet with influential Imams and discuss their shared concerns about women’s insistence that they be allowed to live out autonomous lives.

“It’s a tricky one for the Pope. You see, in the U.A.E men can have up to four wives, while a wife is not allowed any autonomy in marriage and it is written into law that they must ‘obey their husbands,” explained aide to the Pope, Fr. Padre.

“With all these journalists around, it will be extra hard for the Pope to ask how best to implement such measures in predominantly Catholics countries without being heard,” added Fr. Padre.

“The Pope and the lads are getting on like a house on fire, there was one particularly funny joke, about how the law over here means women can be jailed for being raped. I can’t remember the punchline, but it brought the house down,” confirmed Fr. Padre.

Outsiders may have predicted representatives from different the faiths may struggle to get along, however the U.A.E have confirmed that as long as the subject sticks to how women don’t know their fucking place, the conversation flows quite easily.