Older Generation Acting Like They Mined Coal All Their Life


A NEW report into the psyche of older generations has found they’re ongoing patronising of younger generations is linked to concocted memories of working in coal mines.

The research, which was carried out on people over 40 years of age, pinpointed an unrealistic and romantic notion of a hard working life which was then used to contrast this generation’s “easy ride”.

“Despite not having it all that tough, the older generation has somehow formed a false reality about its past,” Dr. Marcus Richardson explains, “with many of the candidates surveyed telling stories about going to school barefoot, mining for coal and even claiming to eat nothing but sugar on bread growing up”.

In fact, the study found that today’s financial climate was in turn caused by the older generations carelessness with the knock on effect ruining any chances for the current generation to ever acquire enough money for a home.

“These little shits will never know the pain of signing loads of forms just to get a 100% mortgage,” defended spokesman for the older generation, Paddy Cooney, “and they’ll never know the stress of having to walk to a phonebox in the cold if they wanted to call their coke dealer.

“Now it’s all ‘online form this, encrypted WhatsApp message that’, and then they complain about having to save up a measly 50 grand if they want to get a house? Please, I would have spent 50 grand on a second financed car back in the day. Fucking snowflakes want everything for nothing!”