CALIFORNIA’S famed Walk of Fame has been dramatically reduced in length overnight after officials from the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce finally finished removing all abusers’ tiles from the iconic stroll, WWN can confirm.
The vast array of the once good and once great of Hollywood was a huge tourist attraction spanning 15 blocks in downtown LA, which saw people strolling along the streets and stopping to take pictures of stars belonging to iconic actors, performers, writers and musicians.
However, in the wake of the continued efforts to have abusers held to account the number of squeaky clean Hollywood stars now numbers just 4 people, resulting in many tourists and locals complaining about the significantly shortened walk.
“I used to use the Walk of Fame to do my morning jog, now that it’s just the 4 stars left I look like a fool jogging on the spot in small circles. Thanks a lot you jerks,” confirmed one local, irate of the inconvenience posed to his daily routine.
The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce has confirmed some new measures have been put in place to ensure they avoiding anymore embarrassing removals of stars.
“We’re going to hold off awarding famous people stars until they’re dead 100 years and everyone they know, worked with or ever met are dead too. They it might be safe to assume they’re not horrible, horrible people,” explained one Chamber member.
Speaking about the stars that remain, the member was understandably nervous about the possibility of future revelations being made public.
“If Meryl Streep turns out to be a massive bastard, we’re fucked, we’ll have to just scrap the walk completely”.