Kinahan Cartel Recalls 100 Tonnes Of Cocaine Over Contamination Fears


DRUG wholesalers across the country have recalled a half a billion euros worth of cocaine over fears the product may be contaminated with other substances, WWN has learned.

The Kinahan cartel apologised last night for the sudden recall, stating they had no other option as traces of worm dose, baby powder and even dental painkillers were said to be found laced through their latest batch of cocaine.

“We are recalling 100 tonnes of our cocaine due to complaints from some of our valued customers both on street and wholesale levels who are operating on the island of Ireland,” an official statement from the multinational billion euro corporation read today.

The move comes after a Dublin street dealer by the name of Decco Ryan discovered the contaminant while on the session, before breaking out in a facial rash from what is believed to be baby powder – an agent Mr. Ryan has been allergic to since a young age.

“I knew it was danced on de second I snorted it,” Ryan told reporters, “ya couldn’t be selling that to people in good conscience, jah know wha’ I mean?”

Underworld stocks in the cartel plummeted by 17% during this morning’s trading, but bounced back to finish just 3% down on yesterday’s closing bell after a new shipment arrived off the Spanish coast.

Meanwhile, the cartel’s European operation has not been affected by the recall: “Our operations in the UK, Holland, Spain, Italy, Morocco, Belgium, Eastern Europe, France and Germany will not be affected by this latest recall.

“The Kinahan cartel aims to continue bringing our European customers the finest quality, fair trade cocaine from South America”.

UPDATE: Gardaí have issued a missing person alert for Decco Ryan, who has since vanished from his home after originally reporting the contamination.