Common Person Under Impression He Can Like Rugby Too


A COMMON-as-fuck lower-middle class type who doesn’t live in an affluent area is for some reason under the impression that he has the right to enjoy this weekend’s rugby clash between Ireland and New Zealand as anyone else, WWN has learned.

Derek Carron, 47, is looking forward to watching the match with his pals in a frightfully common ‘pub’, despite the fact that he earns less than 45k a year and lives in an apartment that he rents – an apartment his dad doesn’t even own.

Frequently drawing disgusted looks from the people who surround him at the few rugby matches he can afford to attend with his unattractive age-appropriate wife and their non-pony riding kids, Carron has become a figure of scorn among real rugger fans who see him as ‘a blemish on the game’.

“Look, there’s plenty of GAA games he could go to… Christ, there’s the League Of Ireland, where he’s far more suited,” said one genuine rugby fan we spoke to, leaning on his Audi outside his red bricked Dublin home.

“I’ve watched him a few times – he doesn’t even sing Ireland’s Call. He doesn’t drink Heino. He doesn’t even have a double-barrelled surname, the fucker, like, literally only has one surname.

“Listen pal, I’m sure there’s a pub on the north-side that’s showing the darts… head up there if you can get through the police cordon. Be among your people”.

The Irish team has also stated that they’re aware of Carron’s presence in the stadium, with several players adding that they have a lot of sympathy for the semi-impoverished fan.

“God love him,” said one player. “I might even give him a jersey at the end”.