Tourism Board Agrees To Just Not Mention The Midlands


WITH more tourists flocking to Ireland than any other time in the past decade, Tourism Ireland has commended itself for initiatives such as the Wild Atlantic Way and Ireland’s Ancient East, while at the same time quietly shelving plans to ‘do something’ with the midlands.

Although the vast majority of ireland is made up of non-coastal territory, the tourism board has struggled to come up with a compelling reason to visit any of it, although they sometimes refer to Mullingar as the ‘passage to the west’, while admitting it really just mean the bypass.

After throwing around a few ideas such as ‘The Soggy Middle’ and ‘All This Shit’, Tourism Ireland have decided that it’s probably best to double down on the edges of the country and just brush over anything else.

“The north has Game of Thrones, the midlands has what, Vikings? We can’t fucking sell Vikings,” said a spokesperson for TI, before concluding, “nah, we’ll stick with the coasts. The Sunny South East is gorgeous. The Skelligs sell themselves. What are we going to do, put a poster of a fight outside a Supermacs in Belturbet in the airport to greet tourists as they arrive?”.