Hard To Know What To Make Of Local Man, Finds Report


A NEW report into local man Jason Tobin has concluded it is hard to know what to make of him at all, despite him being a friend and family member to dozens of people for a substantial number of years.

The study, carried out by those within his circle, found that Mr Tobin was neither liked or disliked by the majority of people asked, sparking fears that he may not be the person that he appears to be.

“Who is Jason Tobin?” asked work colleague Martin Moloney, who talks to Tobin on a regular basis, but admits not to know much about him, “Jason could be a serial killer for all we know, or even a paedophile. I’ve never seen him with a girl, have you?”

What is known about the son of two is that he does hold down a full time job as a sales representative in a Waterford call centre, and that he’s in his mid to late 30s.

“He’s always so distant and very hard to read,” said another man who knows Jason from playing 5-a-side football every Friday, “he’s not a great midfielder, but he does the job nonetheless. So there’s that, I suppose”.

In its conclusion, the report hinted that it may be something to do with his eyes being so close together while constantly delivering a vacant stare, before suggesting that monitoring the man for the next few years wouldn’t be a bad thing.