Iona Institute Last Seen Boarding Time Machine For 1951


BIDDING farewell to a country they no longer recognise, members of the Iona Institute boarded a self-built time machine which due to its primitive technology could not go as far back as the Dark Ages and so had to settle for Ireland in 1951.

“Best of luck to them I say,” shared one member of the public who was shocked to discover the influential ‘institute’ which had such a heavy and regular presence in Irish media was actually made up of only a handful of people.

While it is not yet clear where the Iona Institute is now, if their time traveling attempts were successful they could find themselves in a welcoming, ideologically familiar surrounding of 1951 Ireland, when Ireland was not just a den of sin, but it was a den of sin reassuringly controlled by the Catholic Church.

Unable to get comment from the institute before they boarded their time machine, it is not known if 1951 was chosen because it was the year Dr. Noel Browne, then Health Minister, was forced to resign after trying to advocate for better healthcare for mothers and their children.

“Ah, I’d say they’ll like it much better back then in fairness, one – it’s still in black and white, two – dancing is illegal, and three – it’s a time when the Archbishop only had to ring the Taoiseach and he could successfully demand the resignation of a minister,” observed one time traveling expert.

Ireland in 1951 isn’t a complete world away from a modern Ireland which is recent years voted for marriage equality and abortion, however, as in 2018 it is still the practice of the Catholic Church not to report anyone who confesses to child abuse in confession to the police.