Shell Unveils World’s First Animal Friendly Oil Spill


ENVIRONMENTALISTS the world over can breathe of a collective sigh of relief with the news that Shell have become the first oil company in the world to commit to making all future oil spills ‘animal friendly’.

With oil spills historically causing devastation to the flora and fauna in the areas they occur, environmentally minded organisations have tirelessly campaigned for oil companies to acknowledge the responsibility they have to safe guard against such occurrences.

“We have heard the complaints of how oil spills can cause the utter ruination of local habitats of animals, and destroy animals. We have listened as we have been called to stop oil production and move 100% towards renewable sources of energy and fuel and we have answered those concerns,” said one spokesman before he unveiled the latest oil spill which promises to be 100% animal friendly.

Believed to be the first of its kind, an oil spill off the coast of America, only affects animals who were issued with written warnings in advance of the spill and chose to stay in the affected areas.

“Animals will now be given written warnings that they live in an oil-spill prone zone and we advise them to move elsewhere,” said the spokesman, of the pioneering oil spill which is set to revolutionise the way natural habitats are destroyed for years to come.

“We couldn’t be prouder to join the fight to save our animals from oil spills we cause,” the spokesman concluded, some 6 or 7 months before Shell is presumably awarded with the Greenpeace Award for Saving The World.