‘Facebook Courts’ Application Launched For Trials By Social Media

DUE TO an increasing number of unregulated trials by social media over the past decade, which has seen millions of people convicted for crimes they may or may not have committed, CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced the launch of a brand new feature on the world’s biggest platform, Facebook Courts.

Much like a group page, Facebook Courts allow communities to launch their very own legal cases online, while being allowed to appoint up to 30,000 users as the jury, while the administrators of the court group page will act as the Judge.

“We here at Facebook have found that financial, legal costs are the biggest challenge people face when going to court,” Mr. Zuckerberg wrote on his Facebook page, making sure to tag all 2bn users, “now, with Facebook Courts, local communities can not only put someone on trial, they can also vote up or down on verdicts, while being allowed to openly debate the case in the comments sections without fear of being in contempt of court, as Facebook Courts is a court”.

The new measure is due to be implemented in June of this year, and is expected to fast track hundreds of thousands of cases that would normally be held up by the courts over administrative and technical issues.

Facebook Court Jurors will also have a vast array of options at their disposal on the courts page, including the ability to tag a defendant if their eyes are too close together and a stereotype tagging section which will feature a drop down menu to tag the defendants religious beliefs, social status and skin colour for easier sentencing.

As with state courts, middle aged white defendants making above the 100k a year wage bracket will automatically receive a 6 month suspended sentence, no matter what the crime.