“GOTCHA” laughed Theresa May, at a special press conference today where the entire ‘Brexit’ project was revealed to be a piece of performance art, causing the entire UK to breathe a sigh of relief so great that it shifted the whole country a foot to the left.
May, who has spent her entire tenure as prime minister explaining just how Britain was going to leave the EU without plunging itself into economic and social chaos, went on to clarify that the process of holding a referendum, lying consistently to the public about what that referendum entailed, shitting themselves when they actually won and then spending the next two years doubling back on everything they had promised was something that the Conservative government had done to highlight ‘what it means to be British today’.
With the whole process revealed to be nothing more than ‘the greatest example of living art’ ever staged in the world, May has stated that Britain will continue to be part of the EU, which she says was the plan all along.
“And your faces when we made Boris Johnson the foreign secretary, honestly” smiled May, beside a bus with ‘thanks for playing along’ written on the side of it.
“We were really just trying to show what life in Britain is really like today, by showing up that eh, that people can disagree and also agree on other things, or something like that. It’s art, not everyone is going to understand it. But yeah, we played our part, making ourselves look like fools just to see if people who voted for us would stick with us, despite all the evidence that we were idiots who didn’t know what the fuck we were doing. But now we can reveal that we knew what we were doing, and eh, yeah. That’s that. Let’s move on”.
May wrapped up by calling Jeremy Corbyn a cunt, just out of habit.
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