Local Woman Has Greatest Fucking Night In Ever

ARMED with a glass of red wine, a slice of pizza and an awaiting tray of chocolate, one Dublin based woman is reportedly having the greatest fucking night in ever, eclipsing previous standards which were once believed impossible to surpass.

Jessica Lally (28), was set to have a great night but recent news that all 3 of her housemates would be out for the night, leaving her in full control of the TV remote and an abundance of fleece blankets, Lally’s night has been upgraded to possibly becoming the greatest night of all time.

“If she gets around to starting that Netflix show she’s been dying to watch but just didn’t have the time, you can’t dispute the claims that this is the greatest fucking night in ever,” remarked chilling out for the evening expert Neil Cummings.

Key to the assertions that Lally is in line to have an exceptional night in, is the fact that the morning and afternoon which preceded it have not left her ‘completely knackered’ so she has been afforded the chance to really unwind.

“She’s drawing a bath and scented candles have been lit, this is not a fucking drill people.” the International Association of Chilling The Fuck Out (IACTFO) said, alerting everyone to just how well this evening is turning out for Lally, a primary school teacher.