Adult Culchie Still Pronouncing Medium ‘Meejum’

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THE LATEST reports coming into WWN from Tipperary have revealed that one local woman regularly pronounces the word medium a hard ‘meejum’, despite having ears of her own.

It is believed Tara Mulgerrit, an adult woman of about 35 years and 4 months, has an otherwise flawless command and understanding of the English language, yet regularly butchers the pronunciation of the seemingly innocuous word, much to the aural displeasure of many people.

“Tara is not alone in her inability to order a medium pizza over the phone, ask for a top in a medium size in a shop or ask her odd aunt how her career communicating with the dead as a medium is going. Our research suggests there are thousands out there like Tara with Pronunciation Blindness,” Professor of Pronunciation at Trinity College, Dpavi’d P’Nvinphúlify explained to WWN.

Pronunciation Blindness afflicts those who at one stage become aware of their incorrect speech patterns before choosing to ignore them, even if dictating texts to smartphones becomes next to impossible.

Those with the debilitating PB condition can of course be entirely unaware of the aural crimes they are committing as they remain in rural areas, grouped closely together, far away from areas in which words are for the most part pronounced correctly. The condition also affects those that are subjected to the utterances of PB sufferers.

“We’ve found when people hear someone mispronounce a word, they are afflicted with a compulsion to ignore it ever happened, for fear of inviting embarrassment on the sufferers and so they just carry on smiling politely,” added Professor P’Nvinphúlify.

424-month-old PB sufferer Mulgerrit remains largely unaware of the fact her condition is the talk of the nation, and it is believed she will order her steak meejum rare later this week in a restaurant much to the discomfort of everyone within earshot.

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